About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5357) - you deserved it (15723)
On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (1905)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you deserved it (16216)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7428) - you deserved it (21728)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (21285)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (5728)
On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)
I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2086)
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (3642)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (4994)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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