About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (10826)
On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (4098)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18252) - you deserved it (2712)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4234) - you deserved it (22589)
On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15744) - you deserved it (2007)
On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (22002)
On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6694) - you deserved it (22356)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (3983)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (1079)
On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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