MisterMuffinz

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MisterMuffinz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7263
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D

MisterMuffinz's page activity

Visits<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:03pm<b>ianjw21</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:33am<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:59am<b>kellsey_rae</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 9:39am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:14pm<b>asdfcvbnm</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 3:19pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>auriane</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 10:04am<b>attatood</b> - the 03/06/2011 at 11:17am

MisterMuffinz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MisterMuffinz's badges

MisterMuffinz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

by youmothERFUCKErs / 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids