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MisterMuffinz

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MisterMuffinz
  • Town/Country : .__., United States of America.......
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3036
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D

MisterMuffinz's last visitors

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MisterMuffinz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MisterMuffinz's badges

MisterMuffinz's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you deserved it (5567)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15257) - you deserved it (6203)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (10269)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (14222)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6402) - you deserved it (12547)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (7192)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (9366)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21189) - you deserved it (1752)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (6213)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)



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