About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14522) - you deserved it (1243)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6243) - you deserved it (12099)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (3358)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (1749)
On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (1719)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (5208)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (145) - you deserved it (6024)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20428) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (6126)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (930)
On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (1321)
On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (2042)
On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -
Monday 20 May 2013
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