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MisterMayone

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MisterMayone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 July 1957 (57 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MisterMayone's page activity

Visits<b>pistachiopanda</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:32am<b>Pebbles89</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:57pm<b>LilDELTAWHISKY</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 3:40pm

MisterMayone's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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MisterMayone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (2792)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (8293)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (36158)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (6223)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (3195)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11207) - you deserved it (128902)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (264685)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35459) - you deserved it (92722)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (686543) - you deserved it (55364)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (473345)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228855) - you deserved it (80533)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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