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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (1393)
On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (6848)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65009) - you deserved it (8397)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40055) - you deserved it (7905)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57633) - you deserved it (1857)
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48614) - you deserved it (2558)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54418) - you deserved it (6564)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37835) - you deserved it (7399)
On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (3479)
On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (4281)
On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (4896)
On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (3922)
On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (5330)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Monday 20 May 2013
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