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MissahMissy's FML badges
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
MissahMissy's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
by ReallyBro / 03/21/2012 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by appropriatepolice / 01/16/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
by Embarrassed / 12/12/2011 at 8:45am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lynnie / 10/23/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids
by Paul / 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…