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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MissaWinde12

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MissaWinde12
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1165
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MissaWinde12 : I;ma a phangirl of Phantom of the Opera. Missa Winde is a pseudonym.

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Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (5400)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (17247)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (4471)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing and randomly looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (2962) - you deserved it (25955)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (4827) - you deserved it (45183)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (6014)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17372) - you deserved it (1661)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (1827)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032 (492)

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (8504)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (2024)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (6295) - you deserved it (18515)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (1398)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML

#6865964 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (1697)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by frapples1 (woman) - United States (Indiana)