About MissLizWolf : Liz. 16. Aus.
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MissLizWolf's favorite FMLs
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML
by UghCats / 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
by dickwebs / 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm / Germany / Animals
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
by teach / 11/14/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by idiot / 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
by ashlee / 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by holycow / 02/22/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
by teepee / 11/13/2009 at 10:53am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…