MissFrench

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MissFrench

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1067
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MissFrench's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:28am<b>daniellerl13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:06am

MissFrench's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MissFrench's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

by Fatty / 03/06/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

by Chensticles / 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

by canadiankc / 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

by thesitter / 05/10/2009 at 9:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

by 11321 / 04/22/2009 at 1:24am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

by whatashame / 04/01/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy