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MissFrench

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MissFrench

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  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MissFrench's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:28am<b>daniellerl13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:06am

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MissFrench's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45096) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6676)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (6537)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42342) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83659) - you deserved it (6891)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43316) - you deserved it (12586)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48257) - you deserved it (14400)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41762) - you deserved it (15687)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (4245)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35188) - you deserved it (5402)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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