Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Search for a member

MissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 4327
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's last visitors

A07Hetalia_freaksweet0cheeksZoeythedinosaurshibeepiHiccupBStea_brewernela25virgilcole505Gho5tk3yaha_awkward_

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45674) - you deserved it (4785)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56996) - you deserved it (20422)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

#20825248
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (3951)

On 08/07/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by noiguessitsbroken :( (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48502) - you deserved it (4235)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54460) - you deserved it (4093)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53952) - you deserved it (7170)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49939) - you deserved it (4926)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65158) - you deserved it (5626)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

#20813792
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41376) - you deserved it (6629)

On 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by -_____- (woman) - Netherlands

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53653) - you deserved it (8454)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49061) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (4470)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (6064)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: