Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (yesterday at 7:23pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>bomberos_08</b> - yesterday at 3:23pm<b>TrAG3dY</b> - yesterday at 2:35am<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - yesterday at 12:31am<b>totallylosing</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:35pm<b>rambleramble3</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:07pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:49pm<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:48am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:47pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:10pm<b>whateverwillwork</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:48am<b>Patty410</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:43pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Theloststranger</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:10pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:07pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:47am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:12am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:17am<b>Goldilocks1</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:11am

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (2282)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36064) - you deserved it (4324)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61785) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57447) - you deserved it (5999)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85318) - you deserved it (6101)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (6988)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (4825)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52907) - you deserved it (9075)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (3378)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59229) - you deserved it (4517)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53464) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46720) - you deserved it (6514)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: