About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by cookiecutter8 / 11/06/2015 at 12:15pm / United States (California) / Love
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML
by yvon la moto / 11/06/2015 at 5:26am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by LadyLou / 11/03/2015 at 6:42am / Australia / Work
Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
by Bad Mother / 10/08/2015 at 7:53am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals
Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by steam_engenius / 10/04/2015 at 2:11pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22am / Australia / Love
by Nick Pat / 09/30/2015 at 9:13am / Miscellaneous
- Today, I told my girlfriend of a year a loved her. She replied with "cool" and asked me to pass her… Today, I was just about to open up to my best friend about my depression and loneliness when I see… Today, a guy was trying to sext me while I watched a horror movie. I told him I wasn't in the mood…