Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Online | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6781
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:09pm<b>harlz31</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:44am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:21pm<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:20am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:41am<b>flufee2</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:23pm<b>useless_reject</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:25am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:22am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:41am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:11am<b>unicorn_rainbows</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:18pm<b>hoosierhysteria</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:12pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:55pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:14pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:38pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

#21136840
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43633) - you deserved it (3808)

On 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm - work - by sheisselluv (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (12085)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (5513)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (46102)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40665) - you deserved it (3497) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16515) - you deserved it (67235)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59626) - you deserved it (13542)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (3057)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41775) - you deserved it (5750)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (3712)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (6429)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (19459)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: