About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (36076)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (5559)
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (3910)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (2900)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (7012)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21630) - you deserved it (1341)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (21205)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (3574)
On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (2281)
On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (2787)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (3126)
On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (7611)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23371) - you deserved it (5158)
On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8866) - you deserved it (38403)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm - love - by Kasey103 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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