MissDarkness

Search for a member

Offline (4 hours ago)

MissDarkness

109Fucked!

MissDarknessMissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Kristiansand, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20057
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>jgwyh</b> - 7 hours ago<b>PercyD1456</b> - 12 hours ago<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - yesterday at 9:05am<b>OmgimBored</b> - yesterday at 8:53am<b>MrScootyPuffSr</b> - yesterday at 7:34am<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - yesterday at 4:07am<b>Jayroc</b> - yesterday at 2:40pm<b>jdw17</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:11am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:38pm<b>acevango</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:05pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:41pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:22am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:38am<b>LizG</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:25am<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:54pm<b>becca247</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 4:51pm<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:06am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:34pm<b>liamgun</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:22pm<b>TinyRiver</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:32am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:46pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:42pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 4:30pm<b>22IrishGirl22</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:25am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:47am<b>RabijaBegic56</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:34am<b>fuckingmegan</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:01am<b>CaptDrew</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:18pm<b>MrErazo</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:50pm<b>soul9000</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 12:53am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 8:08am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 2:22pm<b>Ramb0</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 8:54am

MissDarkness's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

by coolest_mom / 11/25/2015 at 1:00am / Kids

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

by I Know How to Pick'em / 11/16/2015 at 7:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner / 11/16/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

by BashyDaBest / 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy