Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 1:56am) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8683
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:16am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:10am<b>worldofcool</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:52pm<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:55am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:28am<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:55pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:36am<b>jimmy_poison</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:40am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:08am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:30am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:33pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:22pm<b>travelfreak</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:13am

Liked!<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (1807)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (3299)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you deserved it (6571)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (7842)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (4155)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (5776)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#19013163
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (2398)

On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (9147)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

#18982251
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (3852)

On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

#18934570
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (6005)

On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

#18913466
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (4333)

On 01/26/2012 at 1:23am - love - by sad life (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: