MissDarkness

Search for a member

Offline (13 hours ago)

MissDarkness

121Fucked!

MissDarknessMissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Kristiansand, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>watermelon15</b> - 8 hours ago<b>thewickedspider</b> - yesterday at 1:21am<b>robsmit98</b> - yesterday at 10:00pm<b>nicolai44</b> - yesterday at 5:47pm<b>sandman676</b> - yesterday at 3:54pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - yesterday at 1:07pm<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - yesterday at 10:34am<b>kusje</b> - yesterday at 9:41am<b>Dune1988</b> - yesterday at 8:40am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:10am<b>tiwan</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 5:30pm<b>amethyst0205</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:53pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Thegoofygoober</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 9:40am<b>Mons</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 8:54am<b>TheyKilledKemmy</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:42pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 8:53pm

Fucked!<b>nicolai44</b> - yesterday at 11:47pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:58am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 11:30pm<b>amethyst0205</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 8:53pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 8:27pm<b>ruinmelove</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:46pm<b>gjuan93</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Dune1988</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:08pm<b>aelabed</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:52am<b>poisonedpeanuts</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:07pm<b>mariusakke</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 9:49am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:06am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:34pm<b>liamgun</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:22pm<b>TinyRiver</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:32am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:46pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:42pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

by Wow / 04/11/2013 at 8:52am / United States / Love

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

by easteryegg / 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

by letdown13 / 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work