Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 11:14am) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7847
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:28am<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:55pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:36am<b>jimmy_poison</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:40am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:08am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:30am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:33pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:22pm<b>travelfreak</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:33pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:38pm<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:59am<b>Drfucked</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:40pm<b>abv96</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 5:58pm

Liked!<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43125) - you deserved it (7868)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (25510)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (42134)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46093) - you deserved it (8311)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (25186)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44270) - you deserved it (4066)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46576) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (4848)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (4577)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (42604)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59259) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46093) - you deserved it (4204)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: