About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
by hrmpf / 01/19/2016 at 9:37am / Germany (Bremen) / Miscellaneous
by FuckedOver / 01/14/2016 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy
by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML
by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Brayden / 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:08am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…