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MissDarkness

Offline (the 03/18/2014 at 10:15pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6081
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>SundayNightSix</b> - 3 hours ago<b>NarutoLove</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Goldilocks1</b> - 9 hours ago<b>totallylosing</b> - 11 hours ago<b>martin8337</b> - 11 hours ago<b>AFaye3964</b> - 12 hours ago<b>MattBenid</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Damafia</b> - 14 hours ago<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - 15 hours ago<b>danibugg</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Austrand22</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Martinez0285</b> - yesterday at 8:43pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:57pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:36pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:28pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:34am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:29pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:10am

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (18091)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (1746)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (2129)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (1462)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (3635)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33346) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74695) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (26439)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (5503)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (1881)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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