About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by Itsnotmeitsyou / 10/11/2013 at 2:09am / Australia / Work
Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML
by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
by she knows / 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by hoo flung pu / 10/03/2013 at 4:26am / United States / Animals
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 3:30am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
by ouharguohargssdf / 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by wombats / 09/28/2013 at 10:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love