About MissDarkness : -Music
-World of warcraft girl since 2006
The devil made me do it!
About MissDarkness : -Music
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by lrn2road / 06/24/2014 at 11:04am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anon / 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by blackchin III / 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health
by Shannon / 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous