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MissDarkness

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MissDarkness

9Fucked!

MissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14944
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>dakotasan</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:05am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:01am<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:21pm<b>elisepr18</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:08am<b>worldofcool</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:44am<b>SYZ</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:52pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:43pm<b>henmaru</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:35am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:39pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:01am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Jasim</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DeathEater59</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:25am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>justingug76</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:29am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:08am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>mjb1595</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:12pm

Fucked!<b>henmaru</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:35pm<b>spencer4148</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:09pm<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47532) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46320) - you deserved it (7987)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3386)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39793) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (6750)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (3169)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (3122)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46445) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (2570)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59372) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (52319)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (15145)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16604) - you deserved it (32638)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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