About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML
by cumbucket cops / 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 10:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Money
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
by fucked / 03/14/2014 at 3:40pm / Canada / Work
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by CurtisWogan / 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started… Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't… Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for…