About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML
by KayleeFrye / 03/05/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by man-period? / 03/02/2016 at 1:48am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 10:57am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 4:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML
by and he wonders why I'm anxious / 02/25/2016 at 5:41pm / Netherlands / Health
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by bregaja / 02/25/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I have to attend a mandatory parenting class due to a false report filed against me with CPS. My son's school play is at the same time as today's class, and I'll have to miss it so I can learn how to be a "better mom". FML
by irony / 02/25/2016 at 10:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML
by FuglyBetty / 02/24/2016 at 5:48pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous
by 1meme129 / 02/24/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
by BikerGuy / 02/24/2016 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by injuredwifelady / 02/23/2016 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML
by Arcam89 / 02/22/2016 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work