About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by sheisselluv / 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Work
Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML
by ktmla / 05/11/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals
Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML
by KHAAAAA-RMA!! / 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm / United States / Animals
by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work
by unlovedmommy / 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by gvmfvr / 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm / Animals
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
by Almost_Homeless / 04/23/2014 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by thanksdad / 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
- Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her… Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full… Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.…