About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
Mobility
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (3447)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54734) - you deserved it (2329)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41656) - you deserved it (4168)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (1567)
On 10/10/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20799) - you deserved it (2237)
On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (3745)
On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (7812)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (3121)
On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28255) - you deserved it (4426)
On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (9878)
On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (7361)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (25382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4472)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (3454)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (4697)
On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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