About MissDarkness : -Music
-World of warcraft girl since 2006
The devil made me do it!
About MissDarkness : -Music
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
- Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my… Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel… Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML