About MissDarkness : -Music
-World of warcraft girl since 2006
The devil made me do it!
About MissDarkness : -Music
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Ew?Really? / 08/04/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
by blow away / 07/28/2014 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by ThunderThighs / 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by smh / 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…