About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Ew?Really? / 08/04/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
by blow away / 07/28/2014 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by ThunderThighs / 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…