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MissDarkness

Offline (the 03/10/2015 at 12:45am) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14112
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>elisepr18</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:08am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:26am<b>worldofcool</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:44am<b>SYZ</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:52pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:43pm<b>henmaru</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:35am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:39pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:01am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Jasim</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DeathEater59</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:25am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>justingug76</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:29am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:08am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>mjb1595</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:12pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:16am

Liked!<b>henmaru</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:35pm<b>spencer4148</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:09pm<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47891) - you deserved it (3815) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (3721)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (4404)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (5090)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (71752)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84136) - you deserved it (6912)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58345) - you deserved it (16099)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (3449)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

#20689016
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44732) - you deserved it (8353)

On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58411) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99045) - you deserved it (5985)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79754) - you deserved it (5501)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (21142)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States



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