About MissDarkness : -Music
-World of warcraft girl since 2006
The devil made me do it!
About MissDarkness : -Music
MissDarkness's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by chlorobitch551 / 11/05/2014 at 11:54am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 7:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
by Mojo0608 / 11/02/2014 at 4:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by facebookdeception / 10/31/2014 at 12:25am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
by carless / 10/29/2014 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
by DiiiDiiine / 10/27/2014 at 10:22am / France (Limousin) / Health
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
by MouserMan / 10/22/2014 at 10:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy