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MissDarkness

Offline (yesterday at 12:26pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Garagedwella</b> - yesterday at 1:52am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:10am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:16pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:53pm<b>Jasim</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DeathEater59</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:25am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>justingug76</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:29am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:08am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>mjb1595</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:12pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:16am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:10am<b>worldofcool</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:52pm<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:55am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:28am<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:55pm

Liked!<b>spencer4148</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:09pm<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (50541)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45308) - you deserved it (3791)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48445) - you deserved it (3226)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57277) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45685) - you deserved it (13555)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

#20779978
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65131) - you deserved it (3785)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm - love - by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63686) - you deserved it (4755)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62622) - you deserved it (10858)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47402) - you deserved it (17413)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58610) - you deserved it (6896)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99930) - you deserved it (11664)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59937) - you deserved it (3737)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52807) - you deserved it (7765)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76225) - you deserved it (3708)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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