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MissDarkness

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MissDarkness

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7017
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>DeeTrain420</b> - 11 hours ago<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - 13 hours ago<b>bomberos_08</b> - 14 hours ago<b>GrinchFu1</b> - yesterday at 3:13am<b>mindthief</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:21am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:38pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:01am<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:49pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:37pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:39pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:12am<b>CEC710</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:24am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:39am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55348) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68554) - you deserved it (17856)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67669) - you deserved it (7182)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57410) - you deserved it (6486)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68770) - you deserved it (6137)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69187) - you deserved it (3363)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39958) - you deserved it (7765)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (18128)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (5484)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52455) - you deserved it (11864)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49635) - you deserved it (4906)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (4877)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (7837)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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