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MissDarkness

Offline (the 03/18/2014 at 10:15pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6027
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Stazza11</b> - yesterday at 5:57pm<b>thisguy184</b> - yesterday at 4:36pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:28pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:34am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:29pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:33pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:41pm<b>hare</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:00pm<b>kat_moore15</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:52pm<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:05am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:43am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:02pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (83680)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52133) - you deserved it (5374)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (6684)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (2281)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (17968)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (6231)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49970) - you deserved it (6263)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (10421)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (7650) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47426) - you deserved it (4757)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (3103)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51603) - you deserved it (15388)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML



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