Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (the 03/18/2014 at 10:15pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6050
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Martinez0285</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Stazza11</b> - yesterday at 5:57pm<b>thisguy184</b> - yesterday at 4:36pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:28pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:34am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:29pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:33pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:41pm<b>hare</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:11pm<b>kat_moore15</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:52pm<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:05am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:43am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:02pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40716) - you deserved it (2425)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56821) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (6320)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46239) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (36082)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58694) - you deserved it (4187)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (127654)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42589) - you deserved it (4846)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59558) - you deserved it (6130)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (6698)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: