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MissDarkness

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MissDarkness

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7172
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - 6 hours ago<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - 10 hours ago<b>harlz31</b> - 10 hours ago<b>worldclassrager</b> - 14 hours ago<b>lukeshyp</b> - 14 hours ago<b>MomentoMori</b> - 14 hours ago<b>barneystinson45</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ElNeqriito</b> - 20 hours ago<b>MattBenid</b> - 22 hours ago<b>ChristianH39</b> - yesterday at 2:40am<b>cinskeep43</b> - yesterday at 1:34am<b>terryaly</b> - yesterday at 12:50am<b>sju91</b> - yesterday at 12:29am<b>CammyGal</b> - yesterday at 12:12am<b>Garrett2818</b> - yesterday at 10:29pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - yesterday at 10:22pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - yesterday at 9:05pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - yesterday at 8:43pm

Liked!<b>worldclassrager</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Evil20071</b> - yesterday at 6:21am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47550) - you deserved it (2843)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3585)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (3933)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (7254)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61210) - you deserved it (25707)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

#20899435
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (2509)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56695) - you deserved it (36404)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59062) - you deserved it (3979)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41302) - you deserved it (9374)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48723) - you deserved it (6371)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (7254)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States



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