MissDarkness

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MissDarkness

125Fucked!

MissDarknessMissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Kristiansand, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20535
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - 12 minutes ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 2 hours ago<b>mariusakke</b> - 2 hours ago<b>linekh</b> - 7 hours ago<b>robsmit98</b> - 9 hours ago<b>JETarchitect</b> - 11 hours ago<b>The_Avatar</b> - 13 hours ago<b>lightningclicks</b> - 13 hours ago<b>JohnnyKade</b> - 17 hours ago<b>watermelon15</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:49am<b>thewickedspider</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:21am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:47pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:54pm<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:34am<b>kusje</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:41am<b>Dune1988</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:40am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:10am<b>tiwan</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:43pm

Fucked!<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - just now<b>JETarchitect</b> - 5 hours ago<b>The_Avatar</b> - 7 hours ago<b>JohnnyKade</b> - 11 hours ago<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 11:47pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:58am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 11:30pm<b>amethyst0205</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 8:53pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 8:27pm<b>ruinmelove</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:46pm<b>gjuan93</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Dune1988</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:08pm<b>aelabed</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:52am<b>poisonedpeanuts</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:07pm<b>mariusakke</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 9:49am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:06am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:34pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

by babbling idiot / 08/14/2015 at 5:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

by fridgemylifee / 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

by Lonely School Kid / 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada / Kids

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

by sucked_in / 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

by Bishop423 / 07/22/2015 at 12:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

by Ouch / 07/19/2015 at 10:36am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

by raquel / 07/17/2015 at 12:40pm / United States / Money

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

by Boneo and Juliet / 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

by ineedaraise / 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

by ow my kidneys / 07/14/2015 at 6:33am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love