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MissDarkness

Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 2:24pm) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6542
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:41am<b>flufee2</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:23pm<b>useless_reject</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:25am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:22am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:41am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:11am<b>unicorn_rainbows</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:18pm<b>hoosierhysteria</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:12pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:55pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:14pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:38pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:33pm<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:03am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:23pm<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:35am<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:31am

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32581) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (3263)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61125) - you deserved it (25689)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

#20899435
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (2509)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56626) - you deserved it (36373)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58999) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (9308)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (6366)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50919) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

#20892223
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47002) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm - love - by really? (man) - United States

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (8246)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42399) - you deserved it (3157)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (89014)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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