Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 12:46am) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7124
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Evil20071</b> - 9 hours ago<b>S232Flash</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:26pm<b>DeeTrain420</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:40pm<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:14am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:13am<b>mindthief</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:21am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:38pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:01am<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:49pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:37pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:39pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:12am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (18227)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48194) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (6623)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (6823)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51311) - you deserved it (3567)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

#21209860
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (3656)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm - health - by smh (woman) - United States

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50722) - you deserved it (3643)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47313) - you deserved it (5287)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (3316)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (6011)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (4650)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35531) - you deserved it (5453)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (8355)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: