About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (2485)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48781) - you deserved it (2435)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (2782)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80180) - you deserved it (4519)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59214) - you deserved it (3590)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (17880)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (7999)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (3860)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63187) - you deserved it (4147)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71112) - you deserved it (4252)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39996) - you deserved it (3733)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51219) - you deserved it (5094)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46247) - you deserved it (5583)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50424) - you deserved it (3822)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (13089)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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