Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18362
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>Hilda_x</b> - 8 hours ago<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:34am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:00am<b>Randomness90</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:54am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:18pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:09am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 5:30am<b>a816090</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:41am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:55am<b>Knaxer</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:15am<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:24am<b>Anumayis</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 4:41am<b>JadeClifford</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 10:47pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:33pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:17pm

Fucked!<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:09pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:46am<b>justingug76</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:48am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:23am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:43am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:35am<b>Tander</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:52pm<b>iffy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:26pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:56am<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:36am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:43am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:35pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:34pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 6:06am

MissDarkness's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15778) - you deserved it (1164)

On 11/28/2015 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (1282)

On 11/27/2015 at 7:39am - work - by fabz (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML


I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (1922)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (2008)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (1865)

On 11/19/2015 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML


I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (1670)

On 11/18/2015 at 8:47am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (2877)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (2204)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by I Know How to Pick'em - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/16/2015 at 1:44am - intimacy - by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (4258)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13072) - you deserved it (23961)

On 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by BashyDaBest - United States (California)

Today, I finally got a good seat on a plane. I don't know what the man next to me had eaten, but I was trapped for two hours next to him as he let out silent, deadly egg farts the entire trip. There was nowhere to escape. FML


C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: