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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (32366)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (11381)
On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (28367)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (4307)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2942)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States
Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (24688)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (5805)
On 03/02/2011 at 6:43pm - misc - by taiannalynn5 -
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (6311)
On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (13862)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (13862)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (5523)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2505)
On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (4165)
On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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