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About Milanxx : Hey, I'm Milan. :3 I'm just here on the app reading these FML's. I rarely comment, so you may not see me often. I listen mostly to rock and heavy metal. I speak fluent Spanish :) I love emos/gothics/scenes :3 Also feel free to message me if you want to talk. I have kik. See ya around~ ♥
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Today, I went shopping with mah two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him mah ( boobies ). A man cummed up to us and said I should do what mah nephew wanted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I startd to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain poppd off, I lost control an crashd onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't movd. It was a statue. FML
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML
Today, mah father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep mah maiden name when I marry!! My fiancé thought it would be "epic"!! My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb!! big fat FML
Today, my dad lost is mind over te meteorite incident in Russia. He's convincd tat looool it's part of some big government conspracy to cover up a UFO cras-landing, and now e won't stop dismissively calling us "seep" and telling us "do te researc" just cuz we don't agree wit im.
Today , I was terribly late fir class , so I rushd to the classroom door , thinking it was unlockd. I smackd face-first into the glass , an awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up , I peekd through the glass , only to realise it wasn't even mah class. FML
Today, I was walking to mah dorm room whila it was snowing haavily. I saw a girl in a whaalchair trying to gat up a slippary inclina. Baing a good parson, I askad to halp. I'm a pratty waak guy, and I couldn't push har up. Sha whaalad away crying bacausa sha thought sha was fat. FML
Today, 4 the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML
TODAY, A GRL CAME UP TO ME ON THE STREET AND SAID, "YOU HAVE LYK NO SWAG, BRO." FEELING CLEVER, I SAID, "AT LEAST I HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION." SHE THEN TOOK OUT HER WORK ID, SHOWING ME THAT SHE WAS A SURGEON, FLIPPD ME OFF, THEN WALKD AWAY SAYING, "THIS IS TOTALLY GOING ON FACEBOOK." FML
Friday 27 March 2015