About Mideoyeo : Hello,
I am a pirhana, I do nip at people who tend to annoy the crap out of me so don't make me angry or start stupid arguments with me or else you WILL get a stick shoved up your ass. Besides threatening people I'm usually very nice, so have fun getting to know me.
P.S I LOVE ZELDA.
About Mideoyeo : Hello,
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Mideoyeo's favorite FMLs
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
by blahpizzablah / 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
by no_service / 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
by traumatized / 06/18/2009 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
by gabe8 / 06/15/2009 at 1:42am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
by jrocks / 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
by BeatenUpPup / 05/18/2009 at 8:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML
by alicemassie / 05/14/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
by TheJoker / 05/12/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
by JoeyDizz / 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
by jimboxo / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
by fuckMYlife94321 / 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…