About Mideoyeo : Hello,
I am a pirhana, I do nip at people who tend to annoy the crap out of me so don't make me angry or start stupid arguments with me or else you WILL get a stick shoved up your ass. Besides threatening people I'm usually very nice, so have fun getting to know me.
P.S I LOVE ZELDA.
About Mideoyeo : Hello,
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Mideoyeo's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a completely improvised audition for the school play. The director called me and one of the cutest guys auditioning to improvise an intimate scene. Knowing that I'm a complete klutz, I wasn't all that surprised when I tripped over my feet and landed with my face in his crotch. He was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2010 at 12:25am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2010 at 9:18pm / United States / Health
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
by NYCguy / 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML
by Unloving / 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML
by bradyman / 12/29/2009 at 10:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML
by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by wobbles / 12/04/2009 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 11:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
by sexyconvo / 11/25/2009 at 2:23am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…