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Mexijew's favorite FMLs
by The Drew / 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Money
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 12:25am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML
by Catherine / 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
by sheilob / 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…