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Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you totally deserved it (1936)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you totally deserved it (795)
On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5593) - you totally deserved it (20037)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you totally deserved it (17195)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you totally deserved it (3798)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you totally deserved it (3083)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you totally deserved it (1759)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5470) - you totally deserved it (21773)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you totally deserved it (41364)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6704) - you totally deserved it (30660)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you totally deserved it (25660)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you totally deserved it (29972)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50140) - you totally deserved it (4711)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes proceeded to blame the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51326) - you totally deserved it (2639)
On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146150) - you totally deserved it (10702)
On 01/31/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by iloveapples - United States (Connecticut)
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