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Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you totally deserved it (1729)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2861) - you totally deserved it (8665)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14610) - you totally deserved it (2657)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11094) - you totally deserved it (4855)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you totally deserved it (3483)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9721) - you totally deserved it (956)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you totally deserved it (988)
On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my country thought it was a good idea to represent itself with Avril Lavigne, Hedley, and Nickelback. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you totally deserved it (4971)
On 03/01/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you totally deserved it (650)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you totally deserved it (1486)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you totally deserved it (1503)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirts reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2475) - you totally deserved it (16013)
On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14250) - you totally deserved it (2178)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you totally deserved it (4198)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10634) - you totally deserved it (16532)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
