About Meowingtons500 : Just your typical teenage gangster. I like cats more than the average individual.
Meowingtons500's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Meowingtons500's favorite FMLs
by Coykoi / 05/16/2012 at 10:19am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by britanyann / 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm / United States / Animals
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
by jku / 01/02/2012 at 8:18am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…