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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12809) - you deserved it (21376)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (3941)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (1901)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (5916)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (3564)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (1615)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (709)
On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (3752) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (2003)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (6027)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (2820)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (4910)
On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (5146)
On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (2932)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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