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Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (1973)
On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (28309)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (2798)
On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (26396)
On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (5221)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (1237)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (1237)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15418) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15470) - you deserved it (4082)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15144) - you deserved it (3666)
On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (7133)
On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18986) - you deserved it (3090)
On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13942) - you deserved it (3528) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Kilimanjaro (woman) - France
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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