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MembraneEight's FML badges
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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MembraneEight's favorite FMLs
by DarkDolly / 02/04/2012 at 11:39am / France / Transportation
by ParkerRommel / 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2011 at 12:50am / United States (Florida) / Love
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
by dealingdave / 12/19/2011 at 7:24am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…