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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Melody

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Melody
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 July 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 13942
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Melody : umm i'm erica. sophomore. i'm boring but people seem to like talking to me on the computer? either way, yeah have fun.
wanna know me, talk to me, you'll get to know me eventually xP

Melody's last visitors

SportsFanForLifealleyppl114GorillaheadlokMyDearBearFuCkYoUpAyMehobohobocampI_See_SoundsNewJerseyTicoApparatus333tom_1414

Melody's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Melody's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (284776) - you deserved it (55431)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (19407)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (296579) - you deserved it (22871)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (10632)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (7026)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (13039) - you deserved it (34258)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (75849)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (41083)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (71788) - you deserved it (16632)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454 (29)

I agree, your life sucks (7684) - you deserved it (21476)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141644) - you deserved it (53016)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (46938)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

#47505 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (4618)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)