About MellyBee : I have red hair.
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MellyBee's favorite FMLs
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
by hihaay / 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids
by RainCl0ud / 08/27/2011 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…