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MellyBee

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MellyBee
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1860
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MellyBee : I have red hair.

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MellyBee's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (4693)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43156) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43684) - you deserved it (6107)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

#17871365
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (2253)

On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11250) - you deserved it (72230)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (8266)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (37482)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41871) - you deserved it (2786)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (2610)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (53873)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56992) - you deserved it (6812)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48496)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States



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