About MellyBee : I have red hair.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14956) - you deserved it (29667)
On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8100) - you deserved it (52490)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (2968)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by meeeeeee - United States (Connecticut)
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (11765)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23054) - you deserved it (3896)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34362) - you deserved it (5453)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (3643)
On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (40958) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19829) - you deserved it (2094)
On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (56880)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24390) - you deserved it (6248)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (3364)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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