About MellyBee : I have red hair.
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MellyBee's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Foreveralone / 04/09/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by LoveBytes / 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health
- Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and… Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy… Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making…