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MellyBee

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MellyBee
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1890
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MellyBee : I have red hair.

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MellyBee's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (4240)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (2392)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (5289)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71969) - you deserved it (8402)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (4273)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (7773)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (42430)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (2021)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (4178)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML



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