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Melix

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Melix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Melix : Raggedy man, goodnight.

Kidneys! I have new kidneys! I don't like the color.

Melix's page activity

Visits<b>bad_wolff</b> - yesterday at 2:47pm<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:54pm<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:00am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:53am<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:59pm<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:10pm<b>67_mustang_coupe</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>zuzuily</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:16pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:53pm<b>cwhquest17</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:21am<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:02am<b>wafflegost</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:40pm<b>obviously_abz</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:06pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:11pm

Melix's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Melix's badges

Melix's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50077) - you deserved it (4817)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45850) - you deserved it (8285)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (12118)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50309) - you deserved it (10869)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

#21153823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (3969)

On 05/27/2014 at 8:13pm - health - by cc13799 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (12069)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (9456)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (9534)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60997) - you deserved it (8678)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (9276)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51490) - you deserved it (11540)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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