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Melissa92

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Melissa92

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1993
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
British.
20.
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America

Melissa92's page activity

Visits<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:26pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Butters_stotch</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:08pm<b>REST0RE</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:59pm<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Pandfu</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 4:18am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:36pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:49pm<b>PHP</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 9:51am<b>Colourize</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:58pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 5:42pm<b>AlexRice</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>TheDoctorFro</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:54am

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Melissa92's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

#17609010
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:06am - misc - by Ariella - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (32255)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (17044)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12600) - you deserved it (69002)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (4757)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

#17074594
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (9351)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

#17060608
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (3512)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13589) - you deserved it (46081)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (22853)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40527) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53443) - you deserved it (16136)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (5765)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)



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