Melissa92

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Melissa92

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2919
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
British.
20.
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America

Melissa92's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 12:42pm<b>whyunolikeme</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:04am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:51am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:37am<b>wakaflocka447</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:57pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:52pm<b>kelserz27</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:42pm<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 2:44am<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:47pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:16pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:41am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:25pm<b>tikeyla</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Jenn_love69</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:27am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Bgrish</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:25am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:31am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:25pm<b>jet223</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:29pm

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Melissa92's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

by sarahbeth93 / 07/20/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

by MotherofET / 07/11/2011 at 12:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

by lostbandana / 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm / United States / Love

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

by kaileigh10 / 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm / Animals

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

by neednewfriends / 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

by joking0303 / 07/16/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous