About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America
About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
Melissa92's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Melissa92's favorite FMLs
by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML
by sarahbeth93 / 07/20/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by MotherofET / 07/11/2011 at 12:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
by lostbandana / 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm / United States / Love
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
by neednewfriends / 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by joking0303 / 07/16/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…