About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America
About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
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Melissa92's favorite FMLs
by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML
by sarahbeth93 / 07/20/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by MotherofET / 07/11/2011 at 12:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
by lostbandana / 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm / United States / Love
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
by neednewfriends / 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by joking0303 / 07/16/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…