Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Melissa92

Search for a member

Melissa92

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2061
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
British.
20.
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America

Melissa92's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:09pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:22pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:26pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Butters_stotch</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:08pm<b>REST0RE</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:59pm<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Pandfu</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 4:18am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:36pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:49pm<b>PHP</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 9:51am<b>Colourize</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:58pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 5:42pm

Melissa92's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Melissa92's badges

Melissa92's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (4941)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (5777)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (2523)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (4915) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9507) - you deserved it (33302)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13766) - you deserved it (40499)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4454)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

#17914334
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Forever sad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (11597)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15646) - you deserved it (53350)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (4708)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9652) - you deserved it (27658)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: