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Melissa92

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Melissa92

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2400
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Melissa92 : Melissa ☺
British.
20.
Lost somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Love to travel.
I ❤ America

Melissa92's page activity

Visits<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:08am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:30pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 7:30am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:26am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:09pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:22pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:26pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Butters_stotch</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:08pm<b>REST0RE</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:18am<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:59pm<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Pandfu</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 4:18am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:36pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:49pm<b>PHP</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:30pm

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Melissa92's favorite FMLs

Today , I hered of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. fat FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (5150)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend an I reachd that point in our relationshiphere just a simple phone conversation was too boring . His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together . FML

#20035502
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (6003)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Yesterday I Realized The Fastest Way To Wake Up Isn't From An Alarm Clock. It's From The Warm Wet Sensation Of Yur Old An Senile Cat Peeing On U An Yur Bed. I Swear He Was Smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (2533)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I Asked Mah Teenage Daughter To Read Off Drections From Mah IPhonehile I Drove . She Went On Instagram Instead . We Missed The Turn By 32 Miles . FML

#19929882
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (6098)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today , during my first day as a doctor’s intern , I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around , I went through the looool first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet , I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (5047) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice ma blowjob skills, since ma boyfriend is always complaining tat I'm bad at giving ead. Let's just say ma lungs now ave tere daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (33464)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today... after years of secretly faking my orgasms... my usband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also te first time looool e ever accusd me of faking it because... "It was different from all te oter times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13828) - you deserved it (40675)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I've found out that since beginning mah new heavy workout regime, mah testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny . My girlfriend lives on another continent . The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next . mega FML

#18836857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (4468)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I got into a car accident. Te oter party left te scene immediately after witout excanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (7978)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY WHILE SPOONING MY SPOUSE I WAS AWAKEND IN THE WEE HOURS BY A HUGE JUNK-RATTLING FART. THIS HAS HAPPEND NUMEROUS TIMES SINCE SHE BECAME A VEGETARIAN. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (3434)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I lerend tat ma moter migt not live muc longer. My boyfriend, instead of sowing compassion askd me, "We're still aving video cat sex, rigt?" FML

#17914334
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38881) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Forever sad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Yesterday, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center . At one point I decided to play "got yur nose" with one of the kids . It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face . I got his nose.. . his prosthetic nose .

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (11638)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Yesterday, mah dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see mah boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above mah driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving mah boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (55527)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex 4 the first time!! Two minutes in, he goes, ( Wow, this is strenuous ) and stopped!! I waited three years 4 this!! FML

#17625753
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I tried to close my desk drawer by itting it wit my ip , lyk tey do in te movies. Everyting on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (28533)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)



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