MelanieP

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MelanieP

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MelanieP : Fuck your life.

MelanieP's page activity

Visits<b>booman342</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:37am<b>nathan1738</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:51pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:25pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>cwhitt975</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:41am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:22am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:09am<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:11pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:09am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:14am<b>username199910</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>fxxth</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 11:09am<b>tard1s</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:52pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 6:45pm<b>chunkbutt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:04am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:03am

MelanieP's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MelanieP's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

by MelanieP / 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML

by baldintheback / 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids