[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

MelanieP

Search for a member

MelanieP
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 January 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MelanieP : Fuck your life.

MelanieP's last visitors

FreezeTamara2011JustSoLostWet_Dreamwyld3fyr3alexis_michelle_Zwischeha

MelanieP's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MelanieP's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (4836)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57266) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (49745) - you deserved it (1569)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be pet. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731 (436)

I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (60724)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (13103) - you deserved it (2859)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (70092) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

#4895245 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you deserved it (5831)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (7103) - you deserved it (28019)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (58036) - you deserved it (7832)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML

#4550726 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (8785)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm - health - by baldintheback (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)