About MelTheGreat : I'm an English teacher and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm a Grammar Nazi.
MelTheGreat's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
MelTheGreat's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
by ruserious / 08/07/2015 at 7:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Brook / 02/26/2013 at 3:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
by Clementine / 11/27/2012 at 6:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML
by sarahijklmnop / 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
by marie519 / 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by scribbles1475 / 12/15/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Colorado) / Love
- Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye… Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited,… Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.…